Jealous Guy
by Lady Serena Sparrow
Summary: Drabble #8- Hijikata's epic battle with Bansai begins and ends with dire consequences. Will he get to tell Yamazaki the truth in time? Hiji/Yama/Ban


**I'm back! Did you miss me? My two wonderful faithful reviewers! You give me the strength to go on! Lol. Anyway, I am estimating (and don't hold me to this) that the next Hijikata POV will be the last…so…three more after this? Or actually, I think I should end at Bansai, so four. Ok! I have a plan in mind! Please enjoy and as usual, I love to read comments!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama…blah blah blah**

**Warning: Boy/boy love aka yaoi**

**Drabble #8- Jealous Guy**

I remember feeling angry. No, it was more like an immense fury I felt burning its way up my body throughout my organs and my spine. Rage. Hatred. Jealousy. Pain. Longing. Venom dripped from my metaphorical fangs. I wanted to rip him limb from limb. To be frank, it scared the hell out of me…this madness which threatened to shatter my now fragile grip on my self-control.

What happened to me? I used to be cool, calm, and collected. I used to be Hijikata Toushirou, the Vice Commander of the Shinsengumi. I was always in control. Many feared me or hated me, but they also had to hold respect for me. I was always in control of my emotions…and I would never have let a foolish thing like jealousy overpower me…until now.

They could try to kill me, humiliate me, or shun me completely but I wouldn't even blink. Sougo tries to kill me on a regular basis, nothing is more humiliating than being taken over by the spirit of a pathetic otaku and I've already been there and done that, and it would be difficult to alienate someone who already pushes everyone away.

But this? I have finally let my walls down and am at last able to feel again…and this fucking bozo comes to steal away my savior? As strange as it sounds, Yamazaki truly is my angel, my light, my reason for breathing. I was drowning in the chaotic darkness of this violent and lonesome life, but then he appeared and gave me CPR. I still can't believe that the idiot tennis-loving ninja-spy would be the one to bring me back to life.

So, I reacted exactly how someone whose precious love was being threatened should…I went up to that fucker Bansai and I attacked. I didn't hold back and my fury showed through my wild slashes and stabs towards the musician who was immediately on the defense. Somewhere in the back of my mind I sensed the rest of the Shinsengumi surrounding us as we fought, they had my back. But then it appeared the damn musically inclined terrorist had brought along some of his friends as well and so the concert became a battle field.

There was a bloody war going on behind me and although I was aware of it and slightly concerned for my men and Kondo-san, most of my focus was on my enemy. Our fight was vicious because I could tell that he was not holding back either. We knew this was the fight which would determine Yamazaki's fate. If I won, he would stay safe with me and the Shinsengumi, but if Bansai won, my love would be swept away to the dark side with those scheming criminals. I knew I could never let this happen so I poured all of my energy into this duel.

He made some stupid comment about my music being a dark heavy metal and that it excited him, but I just scowled and tried to cut his head off. Sadly, he was a long-range fighter so he just leapt away. Damn his quick reflexes and that guitar weapon. And, can I just say, how fucking lame it is to use a guitar and wire as a weapon? LOSER! And he has the balls to try to take what is mine? He thinks he can compare to me? As if.

Suddenly, Yamazaki's voice called out to us, pleading for us to stop. Time began to move slowly, as if it was dragging through a mountain of snow. I felt a flutter of panic as I realized he had left the stage as the terrified crowd escaped and he was now only a few feet away. For some reason, none of Bansai's men attacked him as he stood beside us in the center of the war. That jerk must have told them not to touch his "prize". I was grateful though that my adorable idiot was not in immediate danger.

He was still wearing that ridiculous (and sexy) outfit and my heart broke as I noticed the tears dripping down his face. He was trembling and I wanted nothing more than to hold him and comfort him with soothing words and gentle kisses. Ah! I hate how sappy he makes me! But, it's not like I have to voice my thoughts out loud so I can keep that a secret!

Then, time sped up again and it was too fast for me to catch up. Bansai's wires had forced me to drop my sword and as he twisted the knife deeper into my gut I heard him whisper in my ear, "Every piece of music has its dramatic ending. This is yours. He never belonged to you and you have no one to blame but yourself for that."

Damn. The bastard was right. I never told Yamazaki how I felt. Now I would never know if he could ever return those feelings. I was such a fool.

I heard him scream and my body went numb as I fell to the ground. This was it. I was finally going to meet my maker. At least I went down fighting…and for the best reason…love. As I laid there gasping for breath and staring at the star-filled sky, the only emotion I felt was regret. I should have told him…I should have said those words…and it was too late now.

As the darkness took over my vision I felt Yamazaki pull my head into his lap as he sobbed. It may have been too late, but late is better than never, right?

"Ya-ma-zaki…I'm sorry. I never told you…I love you…idiot."


End file.
